Winter

After taking my first tumble off of a horse, I now knew it was time for a reassessment. I now knew that this "going off" thing was possible. Oh, I knew all along it was possible...I was just hoping it wouldn't happen to us, at least not this soon. Drat.

That blustery afternoon when I found myself on the ground looking up at my horse (always an interesting point of view -- and better than sitting on the ground watching my horse run off without me), I returned to the barn and got back on. I would slather liniment on myself and take ibuprofen later.

I was asked "Were you dumped off, or thrown off?" Hmmm. "Dumped off," says I. I didn't believe she was trying to put me off. She just went in a different direction than I did, and off I went. Times like this one is glad to have a short horse, where you more or less go off sideways. Getting thrown off, as in your horse is bucking and you take a big ol' sky ride before you come to earth, is a whole lot less fun.

And, when one is thrown off, one questions if that was the horse's intent. Another hmmmm. Now why would that nice horse ever want to rid itself of its rider? Something else to think about.

When you and your horse part ways, I believe intention counts. What was your horse's intention? I always intend to stay on my horse -- but sometimes that just doesn't happen. I ask myself what was going on when it happened? What was I doing, or not doing?

Your first instinct is to blame the horse, and maybe sometimes you should, if they are a just plain ornery cuss. Their intention should be to take care of the rider. The rider's intention should be to take care of the horse. Now, that covers a whole lot of territory. I've discovered that if that is not the horse's intention, it's probably because of something the rider is or isn't doing to make it so.

There is a lovely book I came across, There Are No Problem Horses, Only Problem Riders, by Mary Twelveponies. With rare exceptions, the problems in a horse are because of the rider's lack of understanding, and not asking properly for what it is they want. That's a great simplication in a highly complex communication that exists between horse and rider. Essentially, however, I think the horse knows how to do everything. They're perfect!

The rider just needs to figure out how to ask the right questions -- and learn how to listen to the answers you get. Then, maybe you need to ask the same question in a different way. Simple!

Winter came, in more ways than one. The blissful, carefree days of getting on my little horse and going down the road and riding the trails in the beautiful sunshine...were over. We had moved into a new season, one that was cold and unforgiving and nasty. Winter. Fear. Now what?

I love to load myself up with information. I like to think about what I'm thinking about. Paralysis from analysis, some might say. I did realize, however, that this riding thing would only be learned if I actually got on the horse. Duh.

Fortunately, I have an indoor riding arena, so I had no excuse for not continuing my riding in the winter. My barn buddies would put on the long underwear and go out. It was not the cold that was the problem. It was the knot in my stomach. I'd become one of those riders who thought "I can't ride today. It's too...fill in the blank: cold, windy, Tuesday, late, early, scary, etc..

Working with your horse from the ground is a very good thing. Clinicians advise you that if you can't get your horse to do whatever from the ground, you are not going to get them to do it from the saddle. I found that it was a good way to take my and my horse's temperature, so to speak. What kind of mood is she in? Is she paying attention? Is she calm and listening to me? Am I calm and listening to her? How confident are we feeling?

Also, you can do lots of games and exercises to strengthen them, make them more flexible and let them get to know you and how you ask for what you want. I think most of them are trying really hard to figure out what you are asking. Give them time to think about what you are asking. Some horses get it right away. They're smart. Sometimes smarter than you. Others take longer to process.

If a 5-year-old child has trouble understanding what you're asking, yelling at them is not going to make them get it any sooner. Nor will it make them any braver. Quite the contrary. However, I see horse people "yell" all the time at their horses -- both literally and figuratively. "BE BRAVE! MOVE!" Faced with certain death (what your horse fears), yelling at them to be brave will not make them brave. It will however, make them not trust you.

Relax. I'll say that again. Relax. Then ask again.

I spent a long winter trying to learn how to relax. I'd play games with myself. "Just go to the barn. You don't have to ride." "Just saddle her up; you don't have to get on." "Just get on for 5 minutes; then you can get off." "Just go around the arena twice; then you can get off."

I don't know if that's any kind of way to go about it, but it's what I had to do. And that was it. I had to do it. Yes, I wanted to do it, some days more than others. But the bottom line was that I had to do it, for oh so many reasons. Not doing it was not an option. So, whatever it took, I had to find a way.

Was I up to this? Was this ever going to be fun?? I loved this horse. Could I find something in me that would measure up to what she was asking of me? Which, I feel now, was to learn how to breathe.

Breathe?